Retro Crafts giveaway!
- Author: Aimee
- Filed under: giveaways
Sep 17,2008
This is such a cute book, and one lucky reader has the chance to win a copy for their home library!
This giveaway will run from today until Monday September 22, at 9:00pm (MST). If you would like a chance to win, leave a comment on this post before the ending date. In your comment tell me a joke (this is just for fun, winner will be chosen at random). Be sure to fill in the email portion of the comment form so you can be contacted if you win. You may enter once a day until the deadline. This giveaway is open all countries.
For extra entries you may blog about this giveaway. Good luck to all!
*this giveaway is now closed, congrats to #43 Kathleen*
Great Finds
Visit Our Sponsors
Family Review Network
Be a Fan!
Pages
Recent Comments
- chelle on Dyson Pink Vacuum
- chelle on Modern Union Bags
- Betty N on SmartShopper Giveaway!
- Marie N on SmartShopper Giveaway!
- Kristi F on SmartShopper Giveaway!
84 Responses for "Retro Crafts giveaway!"
Joke, huh? Whats black and white and red all over? A sunburned zebra?
A Scrapbooker’s Eulogy Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep but if I should die before I wake, please Lord, let them scrap my funeral great!
Why did the chicken cross the beach? To get to the other tide!
Knock Knock
who’s there
orange
orange who
orrange you glad I didn’t say red.
What do you call a dwarf psychic just escaped from jail?
A small medium at large!
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9!
i hope i dont sew me fingers together.
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A Pork Chop!
Where does a 1′000 pound gorilla sit in a crowded theater? Anywhere he wants.
gkstratos@yahoo.com
What type of site does a spider visit?
a web- site
What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other?
Ilene
Officely Honester I’m not onder the influence of pinkohol though some pinkle think I am.
What’s green and red and spins around?
A frog in a blender!!!
From my 4 year old:
Knock Knock!
(who’s there?)
Lettuce!
(lettuce who?)
Lettuce in, it’s raining outside!
For best effect, repeat about a hundred times. Eeek.
What do you call an earthquake fault?
A topographical error.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Hehe…I bet you know how this one ends! To get to the other side!
I know, I am sooo original!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the bear that was after it.
Did you hear about the man who lost the left half of his body?
He’s all right.
What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?
Homeless
How do you help an alligator?
With a Gaitor Aid
How do you make a tissue dance??
Put a little boogie in it !!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To prove to the opossum that it could be done.
Blonde - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
A banana peel and a banana are robbing a store.
“Don’t worry,” says the peel. “I’ve got you covered!”
What do “60 Minutes” and an Irish mother have in common?
They both always begin with “Tic, Tic, Tic!!”
During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband: Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn’t talk for an hour?” The hubby replied: “Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life.”
WHATS BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER? A PENGUIN WITH SUNBURN
Once a pretty dressed up woman was asking a begger, what would you do if I give you 50$? I would spend on food. the lady asked, how about on clothes or makeup? poor woman said, I don’t have food why would I spend on clothes or makeup? Rich lady said, I will take you to dinner with me. Then she showed her to DH and said, this is how I will look if I don’t spend money on clothes and makeup!
herry123_us@live.com
Double dirty joke:
Two white horses fell into the mud.
Thanks Amy
Question: Where do most mice live?
Answer: Silicon Valley - because of all the mouse pads.
WHy did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
I LOVE bad/awesome jokes! Here’s one of my faves:
What do you call cheese that’t not yours?……Nacho cheese!!! Get it???? AHAHAHAHAH!!!!
I have a knock knock joke….you start.
What do you get when you chop down a tuna tree? Fish Sticks!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
… Because he felt crummy.
On April Fools Day, a mother put a fire cracker under the pancakes. She blew her stack.
Confusius say,”Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.”
Q. Why can’t a blonde dial 911?
A. She can’t find the eleven
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!
Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice?
Because it said: CONCENTRATE
Q: Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?
A: I’m not telling you. You might spread it!
A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house:
Talking Dog for Sale
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
“You talk?” he asks.
“Yep,” the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says “So, what’s your story?”
The Lab looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services … The United States Marine Corps… You know one of their nicknames is “The Devil Dogs.”
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger.
So, I decided to settle down. I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.”
“I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.”
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
“Ten dollars,” the guy says.
“Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”
“Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that crap. He was in the Navy!”
What kind of cows make egg nog? Santy Cows
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was there!
This would be fun to have.
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, “Those are deer tracks.”
The second blonde said, “No, those are elk tracks.”
The third blonde said, “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.”
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
Knock knock
who’s there?
Boo
boo who?
Why are you crying?
I’d love to win this for a good friend of mine who loves retro craft and/or cooking books.
Blonde — Got really excited…..finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months….. box said “2-4 years!”
What has 4 legs but never moves? A table!
Knock Knock
Whos there?
Orange.
Orange Who?
Orange you glad this isnt a corny joke?
a carrot and a mushroom walk into a bar…the bartender says “i can’t serve the mushroom”…and the carrot says “why not, he’s a fun guy”
A woman needs these three animals in her life. A mink, a jaguar, and a jack*** to pay for it all. (What-my mom told me that.)
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Toby.
Toby Who?
Toby or not to be!
**LOL…my dog’s name is Toby.
How do you get a little old lady to say the F word???
Yell Bingo
This is in honor of my daddy:
Why do the dutch wear wooden shoes?
To keep the woodpeckers off their heads.
(At this point, he would have been howling with laughter….I know it’s not that funny but that was his one and only joke and I love him.)
What happens when a duck flys upside down?
It quacks up.
Why did the blonde get fired from the M & M factory?
She kept eating all the W’s
(from a blonde
Blonde - Tried to make Kool-Aid…..wrong instructions….8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!!!
Jane: Has your little sister learnt how to talk yet?
Betty: Yes, and now we’re trying to teach her to be quiet.
Okay, Okay - I got one:
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Police.
Police who?
Police stop telling these awful knock, knock jokes!
WHAT DID THE GHOST SAY TO THE BEE?
BOO-BEE
a contest to win!
Why will you never go hungry at the beach?
Because of all of the sand which is there.
What do you call a fish with two legs? Two-knee fish (Tuna fish)
Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the racoon it could be done.
What’s the difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? Lipstick!
Thanks Sarah!
Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
She was afraid someone would Caesar!
OK; so here’s a joke my daughter told us when we were on the way to see fireworks when she was about 8:
Where do bees go to the bathroom?
At the BP station!!
can’t think of a joke, but would like to win
This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds during the day.
Breakfast
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk
Lunch
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken
1 cup spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey’s kiss
Afternoon Tea
The rest of the Hershey kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips
Dinner
4 glasses of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers Bars
Late Night Snack
1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer) * Remember: Stressed spelled backward is desserts.
Courtesy of my daughter
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because i’m going to eat it!
One day an older brother excitedly told his younger brother that there was going to be a naked lady riding a white horse on television.
“Oh, boy,” replied the younger brother, equally excited. “I never saw a white horse!”
What did the mushroom say to the other mushroom?
You’re a fun guy (fungi)!
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
”Emma come first. I come. Dennis come and Dennis come again. I come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more.”
”You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. ”In this country we don’t talk about our sex lives in public.”
”Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. ”Imma just tella my friend howa to spella Mississippi.”
Why are men like laxatives?
Because they irritate the crap out of you!
What is a Blond’s favorite rock group? Air Supply
I know women who’re slim,
I know women who’re stout,
But, the stories I cuold tell
If I left the apostrophes out!
What kind of car does a Ghost drive?
A BOOOoo-o-o- ick(Buick)
I was ready to email you my homework, but my dog deleted it.
“How can someone who blows a hundred million on a political campaign be fiscally responsible?”
Great prize!
What’s black and white and read all over? A newspaper.
My joke is….Uh, i don’t know any!
a